Hello guys, this is a Post-Valentine’s write-up. I really do hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day.
I’m sorry I have to bring this up. I’m sorry I couldn’t just keep quiet and pretend that I didn’t see the present I bought you seeing pretty unopened on the shelf. It’s been 6 days now and it’s still unopened.
Every morning as I walk out the door and into the day, in my head, I say a silent prayer, “Maybe Lord, maybe today”.
Maybe today, you will notice that the box is gathering dust and the once brightly colored red wrapper and all its glitters look sad and gloomy.
Maybe today, you will realize that it took me weeks of careful planning to pick this one out. It took hours of careful scrutiny before I finally settled on this one.
Maybe today, you will realize that I thought about what to buy for you for a whole month. I went from store to store, trying to decide what to get for you. You see, nothing would ever be good enough for you. Nothing would ever absolutely convey how much I deep care about you. Nothing seemed big enough to describe how I feel, but small enough for it not to overwhelm. Nothing seemed fierce enough to show you how much I would want to be with you, but warm enough to show you that I’m not here to pressure you.
Maybe today, you will realize that I had this gift custom made for you. Because nothing ever made for the general public could be appropriate for you. You don’t fall under the one size fits all. I painstakingly picked out every thread and every fabric, every metal, every stone, every sweat that went into its creation, I picked out. And I executed it perfectly.
Maybe today, you will realize that I went through the distance, through time and space, across the desert to make sure that you got this gift in one piece. It cut deep into me pushing through the empty cold in my pockets, as I devoted everything to making sure that nothing was amiss.
Maybe today, you will realize that I came home with the gift with so much joy and all I wanted, all that would have made everything worthwhile, was to see how your face would light up when you saw what was inside. All I wanted was for you to open it, see how carefully crafted it was, smile at me, and tell me well done.
But you took it, without even looking up from your computer screen, you placed it on the shelf.
My love, my sweat, my creativity, my expression, you placed on the shelf without as much as blinking.
Now everyday, I am reminded that I was stupid to have thought about loving you. Even more stupid to have assumed that you just might feel the seem way. Classically stupid to have gotten you this gift. Now everyday, I’m forced to see my shame and pretend that it’s not there. I’m forced to see that I love the wrong person.
The excitement is all gone. I just really want you to open it or at least take it down that gaddamn shelf so it can stop torturing me.
But still, one part of me, the part that has refused to stop loving you, really wants to know; Why did you not open my gift?
With sugary hands and buttered pens.