Why Did You Not Open My Gift? 

Hello guys, this is a Post-Valentine’s write-up. I really do hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day.

Enjoy.

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Hey,

I’m sorry I have to bring this up. I’m sorry I couldn’t just keep quiet and pretend that I didn’t see the present I bought you seeing pretty unopened on the shelf. It’s been 6 days now and it’s still unopened.

Every morning as I walk out the door and into the day, in my head, I say a silent prayer, “Maybe Lord, maybe today”.

Maybe today,  you will notice that the box is gathering dust and the once brightly colored red wrapper and all its glitters look sad and gloomy.

Maybe today,  you will realize that it took me weeks of careful planning to pick this one out. It took hours of careful scrutiny before I finally settled on this one.

Maybe today,  you will realize that I thought about what to buy for you for a whole month. I went from store to store, trying to decide what to get for you. You see, nothing would ever be good enough for you. Nothing would ever absolutely convey how much I deep care about you. Nothing seemed big enough to describe how I feel, but small enough for it not to overwhelm. Nothing seemed fierce enough to show you how much I would want to be with you, but warm enough to show you that I’m not here to pressure you.

Maybe today, you will realize that I had this gift custom made for you. Because nothing ever made for the general public could be appropriate for you. You don’t fall under the one size fits all. I painstakingly picked out every thread and every fabric, every metal, every stone, every sweat that went into its creation, I picked out. And I executed it perfectly.

Maybe today,  you will realize that I went through the distance, through time and space,  across the desert to make sure that you got this gift in one piece. It cut deep into me pushing through the empty cold in my pockets, as I devoted everything to making sure that nothing was amiss.

Maybe today, you will realize that I came home with the gift with so much joy and all I wanted, all that would have made everything  worthwhile, was to see how your face would light up when you saw what was inside. All I wanted was for you to open it, see how carefully crafted it was,  smile at me,  and tell me well done.

But you took it,  without even looking up from your computer screen, you placed it on the shelf.

My love, my sweat,  my creativity, my expression, you placed on the shelf without as much as blinking.

Now everyday, I am reminded that I was stupid to have thought about loving you. Even more stupid to have assumed that you just might feel the seem way. Classically stupid to have gotten you this gift. Now everyday, I’m forced to see my shame and pretend that it’s not there. I’m forced to see that I love the wrong person.

The excitement is all gone. I just really want you to open it or at least take it down that gaddamn shelf so it can stop torturing me.

But still,  one part of me, the part that has refused to stop loving you,  really wants to know; Why did you not open my gift?
SugaRush,

With sugary hands and buttered pens.

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Nothing Weird..


Hey guys, it’s SugaRush. So I wrote this piece for an event, “Chocolate Bars and Cocaine lines” organized by Creative Central. Here it goes! 

No, I’m not in love with you. 

I’m in knowledge of you. 

You see, I knew you’d look at me that way. 

I followed you on Instagram, not because looking at your brown eyes smiling at me, stops my heartbeat

Your dark translucent skin, covering my shame with its light. 

You see, I needed to know

What makes you tick? 

What makes you laugh so hard, your eyes turn red? 

Like the time, you and Gbemi went for the opening of the Amusement park and you went on that deliriously scary ride, You laughed so hard, mucus flew out of your nose.

That was in 2012 or 2013?….

No, I didn’t see that on your Facebook timeline, even though i watched it wayyyyyyyyy more times than appropriate, I was actually there. I came with you. I needed to gather Intel on how to say hi to you. 

Which I eventually did in 2014. 

You see, we got to know each other so well in those years. I knew your uncontrollable craving for icecream, your immense hate for animals, mostly dogs. 

How you always stroll to James spot every night to get indomie. 

“2 small indomie, 2 fried eggs, 1 chicken, James give me lap o! And a bottle of water” 

Same thing, every night. 

Hey, no it wasn’t just me that got to know you. You got to know me too

Remember the times you’d check your window because you thought someone was looking at you? 

The nights you’d wake up from sleep because you felt one’s eyes starring deep into your dreams? 

The times you’d look over your shoulders because your body felt the heat of another around you? You see you got to know me.

I have other things to do with my time, come on! 

Like write out everything I saw, relive your memories in my head, look at the pictures that I took during the day, and send you anonymous texts. 

I don’t follow you about all day, it’s purely coincidence that I changed my faculty in 200 level, and so we happen to have the same academic schedule. 

Come on! You can’t honestly be afraid of me.

I’m harmless. 

How dare you say that? I AM NOT A STALKER!

Maybe slightly obsessed, it’s nothing out of the ordinary. 

Nothing weird here. 

I just need Intel on how to have a conversation with you in 2018. 
PS: please tell Gbemi that she should stop making you wear blue, i don’t like that color. And I really don’t want to have her silenced, the way I did to Ann, the one that everyone blamed on cultists killing. 

Catching Up With Time

  
Hey guys, 

Teebabsy’s here 😊

This poem was inspired by Titilope Shonuga ( IG- @deartitilope). She’s an amazing poet that inspires me daily. 

She ran an exercise on her page & this is so late but I gave it a go. It’s a poem to my future self. 

Enjoy

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Are you genuinely happy?

Do you smile often? Not the masked ones but those deep felt that bring out your dimples

Do you still snort when you laugh in a room then leave embarrassed when all eyes are upon you?

Did you finally take that career risk with your new found “love”?

Starting must’ve been quite difficult but you made it right?

Did you finally play golf on a Monday morning? 

Travelling the world was top on your list, how much fun did you have? 

I hope you never settled for less than you deserved 

I hope life never made you bitter 

Tell me, Was Falling in love with him the best decision you made?

Was he worth letting go of all the pain and the hurt? 

Marriage wasn’t as scary as you thought now, was it? 

Waking up to the love of your life each morning, was it all you had imagined or even much more? 

Does he remind you daily that you’re just right for him?

Motherhood sure has grown on you. Did you finally have your retirement baby? 

How beautiful was the pitter patter of tiny feet on your kitchen floor? 

Did you finally give your mum and dad all you had dreamed about? 

Looking back, are what ifs a concept very foreign?

You took life by its lapels I hope 

Your dreams did come true, didn’t they? See how important a factor God & faith were.

How does it feel to have your children surround your table? 

Truly and deeply I pray you were loved 

Above all, I hope you realised YOU had always been GOOD enough.

XOXO

With Sugary Love….

NEPENTHE

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I hear the sound like thunder, even though there is no sign of rain.
Big heavy bangs! Smoke everywhere!
Screams from the little girl that lives opposite my house, she used to sing a lot, but today it’s all screams
My brothers are running down the street, shouting in fear,
the dust raised by their feet creates a fog, I can’t see through it

Another loud bang!
This time its closer, I can feel the ground under me shiver,
Everything seems to be afraid.
I’m just confused.

Last week, my dad and I took a walk through these streets,
he carried me on his shoulders,
He told me that soon enough I could be anything I wanted to be.
He told me to look far from my vantage point on his shoulders,
He told me to smell it, to feel it!
“Democracy is coming!” he told me, with a hopeful hearty laughter.
I clapped my hands in response.
Democracy had to be a good person for my daddy to anticipate his arrival so much, I thought.

Today it’s all different.
Tires are burning on the street,
I see people running to and fro,
I see my sisters trying to…
OH NO!
The soldiers just shot another one! My brother! My beloved brother! Gunned down on the street like a common dog
I can’t find my father anywhere,
I’m scared. What do I do now?
“Run!, Run!” my legs seem to be instructing my brain.
Where am I going to? Where am I running to? Who would welcome me there? Who is waiting for me there? Isn’t Democracy coming anymore?
I heard there had been a Coup.

I’m too tired, my tears are hot, I fear they would burn through my skin and leave a scar.

Wait!
Something hit me,
It burns, like a thousand needles in my back
It feels metallic,
I can taste it in my mouth,
No, it’s my blood in my mouth.
What hit me?
My vision is blurring out,
My breathing is shortened, I’m gasping!
Somebody help me! Something hit me! The Soldiers aimed something at me! I’m just a little boy!
Please help me!
My eyes are shutting of their own accord.
All I can hear is my mother’s voice.

“Nepenthe,
Mother of memories,
Mother of time,
Change the scorching sun,
Give me breeze,
Change my sadness,
Give me peace.”
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This is for the present crisis in Burkina Faso. Let’s stand with our fellow African brothers. May The Creator of All things grant us Peace.
#JeSuisBurkina

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With Sugary Love,
SugaRush.

You’ve Lost Me

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This is not a poem, this has no artistic touch whatsoever. It’s as plain as it can be. This is for anybody that can relate to this on this day of Love.

There was a time
You had my attention
Breathing only when you commanded
My decisions centered around you
Love letters I wrote, one for each passing day
Pouring passion into words and heartbeat in ink

Then I saw you
Far away from the starting line of the race
I was a lone runner
No one to pass the baton to
You could care less
I really didn’t matter as much anymore,
Heck! I doubt if I ever mattered.
Lone runner in a relay race

Pushing me away at every turn still I held on,
Love blinded my reasoning,
Tossing away my pride I begged you not to discard me,
I lost myself, lost my voice.

Walking on eggshells,
I scampered carefully to hold us together
The leather of my skin turned into a band to tie us together
Washing away the pain with my blood

“Sorry” how I loathe that word!
Too quick, you were to say it
Hardly were you ever truly sorry.
I lingered and loved and fought battles in my head

Here I am, conceding defeat
But it feels like victory
The love I have for you is beginning to go cold
The veil is getting lifted from my eyes
I think again, I live again for me

There was a time you had my attention
Breathing only when you commanded….
Now, you are a second thought.

My tummy doesn’t tie in a knot when I see your messages anymore,
I don’t get angry when I see you flirt openly, it used to irk me, now it amuses me
You are no longer worth fighting for.

We could have been, you know.
We had everything we needed except ofcourse we didn’t have you.
Maybe you were afraid to love, or you just didn’t want to love me.

I tried, you know i did.
You would rather follow the mirage that the Internet space gave you.
Rather give handles the compliments I was dying to hear
Have conversations with contacts, when all I wanted was to listen to you.

You didn’t even notice when I began to learn to live without you.
When I showed up sparingly at where used to be my home.
When I didn’t care for a goodbye kiss or a hug or even a walk.

Now we live in formalities,
Pretending that we care about each other as we ought.
The “hey” and routine questions about your day and food.
Talking about surface things, and really nothing at all.
Maybe it’s up to one of us to close the door, I’d suggest you.
You’ve gotten a ton of practice.

Time they say heals all wounds,
time has been kind to me.
Wounds are closing up, the marks are fading.
If you walk away today, I’d bid you adieu cos now I’m certain that you’ve lost me.

Happy Valentines Day

With Sugary Love…..
SugaRush.

#30ShadesOfGrateful – Day 27

This isn’t written by me:

I know you are weak, I am too. Aren’t we all, after all we are only human
I know you’re tired, you have walked so much and you are almost giving up
I know you’re desperate, we all want love even if we have to change to find it
I know you’re sad, cause all you have is yourself, and loneliness frightens you
I know you want a hand, cause I want one too, for the lonely nights and the stormy days
I will help you struggle, we will be together no matter what happens come rain, come shine, through valleys and mountains
I will not judge you, cause we are all fighting the same battles, everyday and I understand.
I know you need me to survive, and I know this because I also need you.

With Sugary Hands…
Sugarush