Guard My Heart


I don’t want to disappear. I want to stay with you forever…or the next 100 years, which ever comes first. I want to remember your smell, your laugh, your voice; everything.
It’s so hard to think that one day this will all be gone. It feels like we just got here.
I don’t know if you feel the same way, with this level of heart ripping intensity. My breathing is  heavy, I feel oxygen chocking in my throat. I’m blinking to fight the tears from rolling down my eyes. I love you more every day, with every smile, every time you bite your lips. Your effortless sexiness, your ease presence, so powerful.

I want to love you even more. You could break my heart into tiny pieces, I’d still pick them up and  put them back in your hands.
It’s been 5 and a half months, and you excite me everyday like it was the first time. I want you like I’ve never even had you.

You are the first and last thing I think about everyday and every other thought in between. I miss you when we are apart, and when we are together I just want to be with you. You bring me immense joy. I can’t remember what I was without you.

This is why its hard. It’s body weakening, heart wrenching, soul crumbling hard, knowing that we only have a few more days left. How does one prepare for an earthquake and a tsunami in one hit? How? I want to stop loving you this much. I want to live without you. I want to not crave you so much. I need to.
But I’m helpless, I’m hopelessly in love with you. This sudden death staring me in the face and I don’t have the energy to fight for my  life.

This is my end, I have only one choice; to guard my heart. But alas, my heart is not with me, its with you.