Yo!! Its Teebabsy!
In other news, the strike continues. I’ve decided to just keep calm and flex ASUU strike.
Y’all should do that too….
Without further ado, I present to you;
The Knacking Phenomenon
All contents of the below story are completely fiction, or almost. Every resemblance to real persons or actions, is entirely coincidental or maybe not sha
Oh, and if your name happens to be Chidi, and you happen to be tall, fair and cute, and you know an ‘Uche’, oh well, sorry then.
Oya, now, to the Knacking matter. Enjoy.
I smiled playfully, as I slowly wriggled my hips, and perched astride Chidi, straddling him.
Chidi was the latest boyfriend, he was the definition of cute. You know all those built, tall, fair and handsome kind of guys, and this was our first intense make out session.
Today would determine if he was knackable or not, but I had faith in the boy. With that kind of body, he had to be extremely knackable. I put my palms underneath his shirt, softly cooed into his ears,
” Hey handsome” and bit his ears just as softly.
He smiled at me through heavily lidded eyes, and I had to still his hands as he reached for my top, almost impatiently.
“Patience, boo boo.”
I proceeded to dish out my appetizer special, raining little kisses all over his face, neck and chest, with an occasional tongue, all the while wriggling my body against his.
” Arrgh!, Uche… “
He panted, placing his large hands around my hips.
” Babe, you are so…arrrh…you are so…”
Hot, good…sexy?, I mentally completed for him. I smiled warmly, and I’d not even started with him, this one is an easy one, I thought to myself.
I had been called ‘hot’ since I started growing boobs, knew the word ‘kiss’ and what it meant. From the time I was twelve, somehow, I had gotten acquainted with knacking and all its mysteries.
I’d devour my aunties’ collections of ‘Cosmo’, paying attention to article headings like; ” 10 places to touch him to make him bark like a dog”, and “20 ways to make him turn into a vegatable” to “250 moves, anywhere, anyhow.”
I was also a big fan of Harlequin, Mills and Boon, and Silhouette, waking up in the middle of the night to read romance novels without disturbance or distractions. My parents’ ‘Kamasutra’ and ‘The art of Loving'( which I found hidden behind their closet) was an added bonus.
Believe me, It was psychologically traumatic to discover my parents were that ‘kinky’, and I didn’t even want to start imagining stuff. I was so fascinated by the book, that I didn’t mind the fact that you had to turn the book some 180 degrees to look at some pages.
Once, during class, in SS1, I’d popped a banana into my mouth–and had unconsciously, licked the sides with the tip of my tongue–when I saw the faces of a few of the guys in my class. Their eyes literally popped. And this was way before we even knew what ‘banana’ truly repped.
I gave them my signature innocent look, with a little smile playing on my lips.
So, It came as no surprise that when I had my first boyfriend, the poor guy, after a few makeout sessions, labeled me a potential nymphomaniac, and practically worshiped me because according to him, I had great potential. We never actually had sex though, but I practiced most of my knowledge on him, as much as I could without actually doing IT.
IT being Knacking
Once during a particular intense makeout, he had groaned,
“If we ever end up married, Uche, I’ll need extra help in satisfying you in bed..like 3 extra guys.”
It gave me a sense of satisfaction knowing that I could have a sort of effect on someone with just my body. Armed with all that knowledge and experience, I ventured out into the real world. I knew stuff from “How to look at him to make him melt” and “pressing his mumu button” to ” Oozing sexiness unconsciously” and boy, did I.
It was amusing having guys eat from the palm of my hand, without them knowing why, and it was equally fascinating knowing what they wanted before they even knew it. I knew all the signs of a guy just wanting ‘some’ and knew how to stylishly not give him any.
One major thing though, is I wasn’t promiscuous. For me, it was No knacking unless I really liked the dude, was in a relationship with the dude, and the potential knackee was extremely hot. Those 3 criteria were very important. As a learned Knacker, you’ve got to have some sort of rules. The thing was I reveled in my sexuality and I loved it.
By the time I finally knacked for the first time–with a guy who had claimed to be an expert at it–between the eventual tangle of arms and limbs, we couldn’t exactly decide who had just been disvirgined between us both. I knew then that I had the Knacking phenomenon on lockdown.
I realized Knacking is an art, and the art is not for everybody. Anyone can shout and wail and make whatever noise during IT, heck 90% of the time, those sounds are fake. Yep, sorry to burst your bubble guys, but babes fake half the time while Knacking.
So, stop thinking all those well timed moans and ‘E dey sweet me’ screams are entirely due to your ‘expertise’. I can’t start explaining why babes do it, they sha do it.
It’s not just about carrying yourself and jumping up and down on top of someone else, or lying down like a bag of garri under some dude..
Like I said, Knacking is an art.
Back to the Knackability matter…
Chidi and I had somehow graduated to the ‘topless’ stage; with my tongue all over his chest and belly, and him, making weird noises beneath me.
Ok, I get groans and all from a guy, more than half the time,it shows you are on the right path. But all those shrill sounds and squeaky noises were a total turn-off.
I sneaked a look at him, his eyes were shut tight, and his face was some shade of red. Dude looked like he was having some sort of seizure. I almost started getting bothered, this wasn’t a good moment for the dude to pass out. The boy was becoming unknackable by the moment.
“Chidi, are you ok?..”, I bit my lips, ” do you want to chill a bit?”
His “NO! baby, I don’t want to chill!”, was resounding.
I shrugged, well, if he fainted, I’d just pour water on him and leave. I proceeded to unbuckle his belt, and my eyes nearly popped at the vision before me. I managed a squeaky,
” Oh man.”
He grinned, jutting out his hips at me. I swallowed, holding his ‘thing’ between my thumb and forefinger, in its fullest glory.
It looked like a BABY CARROT!!!
All the knackabilty was gone…pfffft! Shot to pieces.
I cleared my throat, roamed my hands around his chest and bent to the side of his head, flicked my tongue around his cute little ear, and slowly whispered,
“Chidi, I’m going to knack you senseless….later.”, as I reached for my bag…
With Sugary Love…
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