MY SUICIDE ATTEMPT

Hey everyone its Teebabsy!!
*dodges stones,dodges tables and chairs*

First of all,I’d like to apologise for the little absence from the blog!
We’ve been tied up with a lotta activities!We are terribly sorry!Mwah :*

I would be your regular host for the time being! I am more fun than SugaRush trust me! Loolz 😀

I’ve got great news though,we are back,better and stronger!!!! Yaaaaay

Y’all should look forward to great posts this week to make up for lost time!
For all Lovers of GREASE,
GREASE would be up this friday!! (ƪ˘⌣˘)┐┌(˘⌣˘)ʃ(ƪ˘⌣˘)┐┌(˘⌣˘)ʃ

Anticipate the following:

*R.I.P – Tomorrow, Monday

*Sexting: The conversation – Tuesday

Now the GRAND news!!!

BEAUTY: The Trilogy premiers on Monday next week! Fasten your seat belts

Without further ado, I present to you:

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The Suicide Attempt!
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Read and Enjoy!!
XOXO

THE SUICIDE ATTEMPT
Written by: @MercySuga_Rush

I look in the mirror
I am disgusted by what I see…

Hate, Anger, Rage…
I hate myself,
To end it all, I will

I have made up my mind…
My life isn’t worth it
What’s there to live again???!
Parties? — check
Drinks? — check
Others? — double check

And with every one, I hate myself the more!

Arrrrgggggh!
I won’t do this anymore!
I clench my knife in resolve

In a slow, determined movement,
I raise my knife to my neck,
This time I won’t back down…I won’t be a coward, I would take my life fair and square

As I press the knife a little more,
A little stream of warm blood begins to flow

In that moment,
I saw her eyes, as she stayed on her knees
Turning in a prayer for me,
“Oh that my daughter would know how much you love her”
I hear her voice….my mother’s cry

My heart melts…
NO! NO! Don’t chicken out now! Don’t!

I press my knife a little more deeper!
I let out a scream!!!

Then I look into the mirror,
I see him…tears rolling out of his eyes, he sits by my bedside and holds my clothes..
He sniffs it,
More tears….my father

But I hate my life!
Why would anyone cry when I am gone?

Then I hear your voice,
“They are not crying because of the life that you live, but about the life you should have lived”

I drop my knife,
My fingers stained and wet,
Warm blood dripping down my neck…
Strolling lazily down my cleavage,
Down to my belly

I want another chance…
Another chance to make new choices…
Another chance to listen…
To learn..
To love…
To laugh…

I sincerely hope that one day, someday,
I’d be proud, that I was a coward today.

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GREASE: Episode 9 – REST

Hey y’al! SugaRush! 🙂
Sorry for not putting up this episode yesterday.

Anyway, I have BIG news fam!
Presenting the biggest TRILOGY ever on this blog

BEAUTY: The Trilogy

It is going to be powerful, intoxicating and mind blowing! Written by 3 strong, beautiful and amazing female writers, and I would be your host in this amazing piece.

The Ad banners would be up by Monday, and the writers would be revealed. Tell somebody to tell somebody! 😀

Without further ado I present to you..

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REST
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“Err…no! I mean yes….” Jola stuttered, obviously shaking.
“Speak up damnit! Are you fucking trying to steal from me? You ratchet hoes tho!” Victor yelled maliciously
“Stop it! Stop right there! I am not ratchet neither am I trying to steal from you, dumbass”, Jola spat in anger. How dare he call her ratchet? Because she gave him the favor of her body? And the damned wristwatch!

“So explain to me, what the fuck are you doing with my wristwatch?”

“I don’t know how you keep your things but I saw your stupid wristwatch laying over there”, Jola fumed as she lied with utmost confidence

“Don’t you dare give me that! I kept that shii in my wardrobe myself!” Victor yelled, vehemently refusing to fall for the lie.

“If I wanted to steal it, don’t you think I would have put it in my bag? Ehen tell me!” Jola equaled his volume

Victor hesitated in his reply trying to put the pieces together logically. Jola saw that he was indecisive and decided to launch her attack, afterall, attack they say is the best from of defense.

“You know what? This is bullshit! I’m ready to leave.” Jola moved to the edge of the bed where her purse and her top lay, and began to wear it.

“Leave? Already?”, Victor quickly mentally calculated. The memories of last night were still in his head, like an excerpt from his favorite adult movie. He had had an orgasmic experience. He planned to get a re-run of the previous night, this morning. At least even if she wanted to steal from him, she didn’t succeed. Letting her go just like that would be a loss on his part.
“Baby, why so early? Just stay with me for another hour,” Victor cooed

“No! I want to go now. If you are not taking me, I would go myself”, Jola retorted, still feigning anger. She needed to get the hell out of his house. She had had enough drama for one night.
“Baby now, I’m sorry for what I said. I will make it up to you”, Victor persuaded.
“I’m leaving”, Jola made her way for the door.
“Alright! Alright! Let me get my keys”.

********************************

Anita woke up at the first light of dawn. She had cleaned up and come out of Michelle’s room to the parlor. Anita still couldn’t believe all that had happened to her the night before.
There was no way in hell that Bode was going to go scot free, after all the bullshit he put her through yesterday.
“Who the fuck is that Tunde nigga sef?” She muttered to herself. Jola had a lot of explaining to do.

Anita picked up her Iphone and began to scroll through her contacts. She got to a number, stored as “Alaye”, and she called.

“Hey Alaye, its me Anita”
“Alaye we need to see. Person don offend”
“I dey lag now, when I get back I go come your side”
“Trust me, I no dey fuck up”
“Aii, later”

With that she hung up. As simple as the call made, it had already set the ball rolling for her revenge against Bode. He has just messed with the wrong chic and she was going to make sure he never forgot it.

“Babes, you are up already?” , Michelle asked, dragging her foot as she came to the parlor.

“Yeah babes, I want to start heading to back to school.”

“Lagos don tire you abi! My baby is so scared,” Michelle laughed as she moved to get Anita a hug
“Babes, next time, make sure na sure parole you do o! Not all these small small boys. Okay?”

“Yes ma!” Anita replied with mock respect.
“Thanks a lot you saved my life.”

“What are friends for? Lemme get my keys and drop you at the pack”.

***************************

Victor packed in front of the BQ, as he reduced the volume of the radio
“Baby, I’d come see you in the evening okay?.
“Aii”, Jola replied. She had no intention of picking his calls ever again as soon as she stepped down from his car, but of course she didn’t tell him that. Let him basked in the belief that there was something left between them.

Jola entered the room when she received a buzz on her phone. She fetched for her phone, and read the best news she had heard all 48hrs long. It was Anita, she was on her way back to school.
Jola slumped on the bed with a smile on her face.
The smile didn’t quite last long as she realized that she was about making a deadly and costly mistake.

In the heat of the moment, she and Victor had had sex without any form of protection. She scrambled out of the bed to the cabinet where they kept their medications.

Shit! There was no morning after pill left.

***************
Read previous episodes of GREASE here
And Don’t forget to subscribe! 😀

With Sugary Love

GREASE: Episode 8 – BEHIND THE SCENE

Hi y’al its SugaRush! 🙂

Welcome back from the GREASE break!

Without further ado, I present to you:

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EPISODE 8
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Jola heaved a sigh of relieve as she received the text message from Anita. She walked back to the bed, and made way for her hands as slowly as possible, under Victor’s pillow to retrieve his phone. Carefully, she pulled it out, trying hard not to wake Victor up.

She stylishly got up from the bed, held the phone and began to tiptoe to the door. Victor made a muffled sound and turned his body to face her, Jola froze on the spot. Realizing that Victor was just stretching as he slept, she quickly made for the door, that she shut quietly behind her.

A stream of Twitter DMs began rolling in as she opened Tunji’s account.

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@BodeEnigma 13m

Nigga what’s happening? Have you seen her yet?
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@BodeEnigma 10m

What do you mean she escaped? How possible is that you fool?
*************
@BodeEnigma 8m
What the hell are you saying, that you couldn’t catch her before she got to the checkpoint?
*************
@BodeEnigma 4m

And you couldn’t settle the police men???! Fuck!
**************
@BodeEnigma 2m

Hope she has no idea its connected to me
**************
@BodeEnigma 30s

She better not, cos I don’t have the intention of leaving that babe just yet.
**************
@BodeEnigma 10s

You are just a fucked up disappointment!
**************
@BodeEnigma 5s

Fuck off my phone!

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Jola cursed under her breathe, if only she could see what Tunji was replying! Arrrrrggggghhhh! The bloody way this twitter opened on his phone was such that she could only see the direct messages coming in and not the ones going out, so far as it was not sent from this particular phone.
She cursed again. Anyway at least now she knew that this Bode was pure evil.
So the bastard wanted to rape Anita, and still hang around her life! Boys and the sinister things in their minds.

Jola went back to the room door, stylishly as she had left the room, she entered.

Boom! Her big toe banged against the wardrobe door. Jola struggled not to scream, the excruciating pain from the hit, made her hold the wardrobe door for support.
As she held the door, she looked into the wardrobe and her eyes widened.

Right in front of her in his wardrobe was a wad of money; #1000 notes, gold chains, wrist watches, designer perfumes and diamond studded earrings. Jola stared at the collection in awe. She mentally calculated how much she was going to collect from him. He can’t have all these and she won’t take from it.

She put his phone on her lap, and picked one of his gold wristwatch and examined it. It was romania or those other gold look-a-likes, it was pure gold. She wondered how many carat it was and its value in Naira. She made move to drop the gold wristwatch and examine another one.

“What are you doing there? Why are you sitting in front of my wardrobe?”, Victor asked with a stern and firm voice.

Jola froze. She quickly drew back put the wristwatch inside the pocket of her shorts.

“Err…nothing I was going to use the toilet when the door of the wardrobe hit my leg”

Victor squinted his eyes in a bid to see Jola clearly. He wasn’t full of sight, he wore very thick glasses to help him through the day. Without his glasses, he was almost blind. He could only make shapes and shadows, but not specific details without help.

“Is that why you sitting in front of it? Come back to bed now”

Jola stood up and climbed into the bed, limping in a funny way as she did. She held his phone tightly in her hands, as she made way to his side. She slowly slipped the phone under his pillow, and turned to sleep on her side, as the cold metal of the gold wristwatch pressed against her legs.

**************************
It wasn’t as that she was kidnapped or hypnotized into coming to his bed, but it wasn’t exactly her choice anyway.
Victor had invited for his best friend’s girlfriend’s birthday party. He had been asking her to date him, and she wasn’t interested. Victor had done everything possible, he had taken her exotic places, lavishly spent money on her and all that. So when he invited her for the party, she didn’t refuse.

The party had been at “Magratta’s” . A little but beautiful restruant inside FAPHOL Mall. She went as his date, he introduced her to everyone as his wife. His friends had called her wife and Victor acted the part beautifully. He came up to her side, kissing her forehead and making her feel special. Jola who was quite experienced and knew this trick that boys played, still fell for it. She felt like a bonafide girlfriend of his, and it was an amazing feeling.
When his best friend suggested that they moved the party to a club, and Victor told her, Jola didn’t object. She wanted to be with him for the feeling to continue.
At the club, she had danced with only him and some of his friends. Acting the “wifey” part, and it sure did make her feel special. As they danced, they shared a kiss, the most romantic kiss yet. She felt something well up inside her, it was most certainly an extra feeling.

The party had moved from the club, to his house, his room precisely. It was only when he began to touch her without exactly asking for her consent that she snapped out of the “wifey” delusion and got back to the game mode. Then after they had done the deed she asked for his phone and viola the Tunde revelation.

Jola opened her eyes, and looked around, it was already bright. She moved her hands towards Victor’s side but he wasn’t on the bed. With a start she jumped out of the bed, now was her chance to return the gold wristwatch inside the wardrobe. She made for the handle of the wardrobe and pulled, but it was locked.
Shit! Victor had woken up and had locked the wardrobe. What was she going to do with the bloody wristwatch? She sat on the bed holding the wristwatch as she devised another plan.

“Why the hell are you sitting in front of my wardrobe again?! What are you doing with my gold wristwatch?! Jola, are you fucking trying to steal from me?!”
Victor’s voice carried fire and his eyes brimstones.

With Sugary Love

FACADE

I am pretty, I am popular, I am smart, I have friends, I am a fake.

My parents are average; middle class. They can afford to take care of me and my siblings. Well, they don’t have much. They sincerely don’t. My mother’s shop is not as booming as it once was. My father doesn’t exactly have a definite job, but my parents afford our school fees. I went to one of the best schools around, for 6 years, and my school fees never came late. So I am not poor. At least not obviously.

I am popular. Oh yes I am. There are people in my University that know me, and I don’t even bloody know they exist. My name might not command as much respect, but its not a push aside name. I know the “who’s” and I roll with them. I have a clique of popular friends too, so I am not in the background. At least not really.

I am smart. I know things that my mates don’t know. I work and I have worked with multi-national companies. I am very good at sales and marketing, analysis and strategy. I am not failing in class, I pass my courses. At least not obviously failing.

I have friends. I have people I roll with. People I can chill with and gist for days. Girls that I would give my life for, people that I love. But friendship is two-sided right? So I have friends. At least I am a friend.

I am a fake. I am not as happy as everyone thinks I am. They all believe I am a happy child, always playing, never really serious. I am not that happy. I pretend to be happy, I pretend so well, that I begin to feel happy sometimes. But there is this void inside me. This big deep void, that nothing can fill. I hate my life. Even though I go on and on about how incredible my life is, how I love my jobs, the truth is I hate my life. I sink deeper and deeper everyday. Everyday I cry myself to sleep, comforting myself with the thought that I might die in my sleep. I hate my parents. The holy book of the christians say, that the man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel. My parents can’t provide for me. I go days without food, hungry and smiling. I can’t even go home, its worse there. They cover everything in the cloak of religion, praying to a being that watches them suffer. I wonder every time. How can you be so loyal to a being that doesn’t care for you? They worship him, day and night. They abandon their responsibility to us, as parents, because they are busy in his service. But still, he doesn’t stop all the evils from happening to them. He didn’t stop the semi-blindness that struck. He didn’t stop the multiple death in quick successions. He didn’t stop the academic fallouts. He didn’t stop the financial depression. He didn’t stop anything, yet, they are loyal to him. And the funny part is, they want to make me to be too. Never! I can’t go home.
I want to feel love and loved. I pretend that I don’t really care and its all a joke, but the truth is I really do care. I care so much. I want somebody with whom I can be completely honest with, who I don’t need to fear or pretend with. Someone who would love me for who I am.

Sometimes I want to scream. I want to be completely myself without restraint. But then I weigh all the things I would lose if I don’t “act the part”.
Many nights I have contemplated suicide. I have tried to take my life, but I have always been a coward. A bloody coward. I want to die. At least I won’t have to keep up appearances in the grave.

I have wiped my tears, my neighbor is knocking at my door. I can’t afford her seeing me cry. I put on a smile, adjust my mask as she enters.

With Sugary Love

HE LOVES YOU….. NOT

Hey y’al its SugaRush♣ 🙂

I know you are VERY angry with me! Especially my arid GREASE lovers. I’m really really sorry. For some reasons, reasons that can change my life, I have been unavoidably absent from IrishSugar, and I’m sorry! 😦

In my bid to make up, I have gotten an amazing and down to earth belle to write up about LOVE!

This post is unedited. Use the comment box to express what you think!
See you at the other side….

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HE LOVES YOU… NOT

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By: Eireen Dongo @KissMyTushy

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He stares at me….

Like he did since the day we met
When he pulled up at my room in his silver car
The day I cannot seem to forget

He walked up
And all he could do was stare
The words and silence is what he fought
As he walked up to my door

And then he said
“It has taken me a lot to come here
I want to take you out
I really like you, and I’ve been watching you”

In my inner head *oh my God at last he notices I like him^o^ *
What I said out , “sorry I can’t, I don’t know you” -_-
I walked into my room
…..And just like the Gobe song
He really did wait at my gate

And I’m like 0_o?
“Ok! Where to? Let’s go out”

And at the end of the day
We clicked
☺♥ ☺
/█\ /█\
.||. .||. ♥
He told me about the most personal things
I felt we’ve known for years
Got back to my room.

Then we were chatting
he asks the favorite question a girl wants to hear

WOULD YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?
Dayuum! It was like a flash!!
I had to munch it for future reference
Thank God for screen muncher!

We had a very healthy and happy relationship.
There was no fighting, no cheating,
well at least that’s what my little brain thought,
we were best friends and I was so in love with him. He was very much in love with me too (my brain told me this),
and i thought we’d be together forever.

And then… (((((BOOOOMMMM!!!!!)))))
he just wasn’t in love anymore.
I didn’t see it coming.
He told me he’s realized he fallen out of love.
“DAMN YOU!!”, I screamed

“How won’t u fall out of LOVE? Haven’t you seen everything?? What else is left?
All the days and night we spent together. Even the “honeymoon” get away you proposed!
How won’t you fall out of love? Arrrrrggggh!!”

Dear God,
If you hear me…. Let this pain disappear
I felt like hanging myself
________
|/ |
| (_)
| \ | /
| |
| / \
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As I laid on my couch listening 2 Leona Lewis songs I pondered……..
How can this be? How did I get here? How am I hurting over this person? Maybe my personality is draining away…I used to be fun and helpful had a great sense of humor. Now I’m plain and dull and boring all.

Part of me refuses to believe it. It CAN’T be so. Did he just FREE me? :s Something has to change. I won’t just sit here and wait for love to smarten up. Better yet, I will change things.

Let me tell you, before you get into a big emotional conversation and then he will persuade you that he is the right one for you

In the beginning it’s hardest to NOT do anything before you “feel the feelings”.
Take your time. Let it slowly sink in and try to do the hardest thing there is to do: NOTHING. DON’T get the sex part down, if you question whether he REALLY loves you. ” DO NOT LET GOOD SEX MAKE YOU FEEL YOUR IN LOVE” he might just be having it good with everyone else……. You aren’t a witch you can’t know if he’s FAKING IT in the love department, but if:

1. If he says to you ‘I only want to be with you,” pay attention. The questions that should come to mind is, Who else would you want to be with? Who else are you with? Why am I the only one?’

2. He says, ‘I want you to my baby.’ Trust me, that’s very often said in the passion of the moment and he means it in the moment but it’s probably not going to be the way he feels the next day.

3. He’s NOT affectionate and/or if you’re kissing and he’s kissing you back but you find his eyes are open and he’s looking around, you should know that’s a sign to consider.

4. He makes AND breaks promises. If he’s always promising you, ‘We’re going to go out’ or ‘We’re going to meet my friends,  but it doesn’t happen, there’s a reason he’s not keeping the promises.

5. He always talks about the future, but the future never comes. Bottom line: the only thing that seems to be happening is that you’re having great SEX, he’s faking the LOVING PART.

Do You feel hurt, anger, betrayal? You feel rejected and less than? Your self-esteem is taking a hit from the feeling of rejection?
Hmmmmm nice! You almost feel like me right now

Maybe you would start thinking, ” I’ll clean more. I’ll cook gourmet meals. I’ll devote myself to the eradication of world hunger. I’ll give my next allowance to the church. I’ll join the Peace Corps. I’ll be more. I’ll turn myself inside out to be the person he will love. I can do it. I will do it.”

STOP!!!

Ahahahaha! ARE YOU A LEARNER? If you like do more or less if you aren’t the one, you aren’t o!

Stop right there. Forget about changing your whole life just so this narrow-minded little bone head will love you. FORGET IT!
It is time to REJECT THE REJECTER. And his ridiculous standards of measurement. Perhaps this person doesn’t know what he is losing. Perhaps this person has NO IDEA how worthwhile you are and what value you can add to their life.
That is their problem, not yours.
The bottom line is that you do not want someone who does not want you. That hurts and that stings.

And in the end we always realize

He loves you NOT
He doesn’t know you’re even there
He doesn’t see you
He has no idea how much you care

And at the end of the day
you pray that tomorrow will be an easier day.

With Sugary Love